What is bullying?
Where can it happen?
Who is bullied?
What can happen to bullied children?
Why do children become bullies?
I think my child is being bullied. What can I do?
What can the school do about bullying?
Can I as a parent, contact or refer my child to the Anti-Bullying Support Officer (A-BSO)?
I have contacted school already to discuss the situation and the problem is still there.
I am really worried about bullying and do not want to send my child to school. What can I do?
What does the government say?
What is bullying?
Bullying is not always an easy thing to define. Dan Olweus, an expert in the prevention of bullying, says that bullying can include:
Deliberate hostility and aggression towards the victim
A victim weaker and less powerful than the bully or bullies
An outcome which is always painful and distressing for the victim
Bullying can be
Physical - pushing, kicking, hitting, punching
Verbal - name calling, sarcasm, spreading rumours
Emotional - excluding, tormenting, ridicule, humiliation
Racist - racial taunts, graffiti, gestures
Sexual - unwanted physical contact, abusive comments, homophobic abuse
Where can it happen?
• In the playground
• In the toilets
• On the way to school
• On the way home
• In the classroom
Who is bullied?
Many children are bullied at some time. Some children who are bullied are different in some way. However, often, there is no difference.
What can happen to bullied children?
They can suffer from depression, low self-esteem, shyness, poor academic achievement, isolation and, in some cases they may attempt and manage to commit suicide.
Possible signs of bullying
Children may:
• be frightened of walking to or from school
• not wish to use the school bus
• be unwilling to go to school
• begin to feel `ill` in the mornings
• come home hungry, if their dinner money has been taken
• become withdrawn
• begin truanting
• come home with possessions missing/destroyed
• stop eating/begin wetting the bed
Why do children become bullies?
Reasons may include:
• They have been abused themselves
• They like the feeling of power
• They don't relate well to other children
• They are bored or frustrated
• They are under great pressure to succeed
• Following a traumatic event such as an death in the family
I think my child is being bullied. What can I do?
Contact the school as soon as possible to inform them of your concerns as they may not be aware there is a problem. In Primary and Special schools, your contact should be your child's class teacher or the Head Teacher. In Secondary schools you should speak to either the pastoral Head of Year or child's Group Tutor. Even if your child asks you not to take any action, it is essential that the school knows what is happening.
School will need time to investigate your concerns which can be frustrating and it may appear as if little progress is being made, but remaining calm and focussed is necessary at this time. School should be keeping you regularly informed as to how any investigations are progressing
Keep a record of all conversations between yourself and school staff, e.g., dates, times, who you spoke with, any action points agreed etc. Also keep copies of any letters that you sent in connection with the allegations or concerns and any that you received in reply. School should also be keeping their own records
If a meeting takes place at school then you will be allowed to take along someone to support you and it would be a good idea to think of questions or points to raise before the meeting and write them down. Take your own notes from the meeting, but school should also do this and a copy of the minutes should be made available to you. If you disagree with the contents, discuss this with school as soon as you can
What can the school do about bullying?
All schools should have an anti-bullying policy which should be made available on request. The policy should deal with bullying incidents in accordance with the procedures set out in the policy.
They should be prepared to:
• Treat the problems seriously
• Investigate the incident
• Interview bullies and victims separately
• Interview any witnesses
• Decide on an appropriate action
• Have a follow up meeting with the victim's family to report progress. It is reasonable to expect you will be kept informed.
• Inform all staff about the incident and action taken
• Keep a written record of the incident, interviews and action taken
Bullying outside school
This can be very hard to deal with, especially if the bullies' parents won't intervene to stop their children tormenting others. The suggestion is that threats, taunts and harassment should always be reported to the police.
The following may help
• Keep a written record of all incidents
• Try and find out who is doing the bullying
• If appropriate, approach the bullies parents External Link
• The council Environmental officer could be informed about the situation
• Take legal advice, available from the Citizens Advice Bureau (CAB)
• Enrol your child in self-defence classes, increasing their confidence
• Consult local youth leaders who may know the children involved
• If possible, video, photograph or record the incidents
• Report all physical assaults
Can I as a parent, contact or refer my child to the Anti-Bullying Support Officer (A-BSO)?
Yes. The A-BSO will always contact school in order to discuss the situation with them. Contact with the A-BSO will not necessarily mean that a case will be taken on as a referral. This would depend on other commitments and other work the A-BSO was currently involved in.
I have contacted school already to discuss the situation and the problem is still there.
Contact may need to happen several times with school before progress can be seen, but if you really feel that things are not improving then there are other options available. School Governors can be made aware of parents concerns, if you feel that staff intervention is making no difference and you could always write to them to explain your concerns. Contact details will be available from school. The appropriate Council personnel can also be contacted. This is the Anti-Bullying Support Officer, Susan Horton who works with schools and parents to investigate serious bullying situations, but parents and carers should have co-operated as fully as possible with school before contacting Susan. Support can also be offered by the Education Welfare Service.
Local Councillors and Members of Parliament are also available for parents and carers to discuss any concerns regarding bullying
Legal advice can also be sought at any stage that a child may be experiencing bullying but factual evidence would be required in order to build up a credible case.
The Local Government Ombudsman can also be contacted. They cannot investigate the internal workings of schools, but can look at the LEA`s role in investigating your concerns or complaint.
The Secretary of State for Education can also be contacted, but this would have to be after all other avenues had been tried without success. Your concerns or complaint will be dealt with by the Pupils and Parents branch. Officials can only order action to be taken if your child is still a pupil at the school, so if he/she has been removed, there is nothing the Secretary of State can do.
Parents and carers are also free at any point to exercise parental choice and transfer their child to a different school
I am really worried about bullying and do not want to send my child to school. What can I do?
You should discuss your concerns with school before keeping your child at home. If severe threats or physical violence are used, parents have the option of discussing the situation with the police. If school are unaware of the reason you are keeping your child at home, the Education Welfare Officer attached to your child's Year Group may become involved due to non-attendance. As a short term measure, there may be places in school other than the classroom where your child can be educated until the situation begins to improve, but this would need to be negotiated and reviewed regularly.
What does the government say?
Your child's school has a duty of care towards their pupils.
• Schools should also provide an adequate and efficient education
• Anti-bullying strategies should also cover play and break time
• Bullying should be in the schools behaviour policy, which must also include racial and sexual harassment
• Pupils should be encouraged to report incidences of bullying to older pupils and staff
• A school prospectus should explain how to report the bullying and how staff should investigate
• School should record all racial incidents. Any action taken should be told to parents and governors
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